Ohana

“Ohana means family, and family means that no one gets left behind, or forgotten.”

I have had to learn some painful lessons about what “Ohana” means. I've learned that a lot of people – most people, in fact – don't have the same definition of ohana as I do. I've learned that they seemed to think its okay to do or say whatever they want to, as long as it suits their own wants and needs. I've also learned that, if you don't agree with what they say or think or do, then you get left behind and forgotten.

Today would have been my 8^th year anniversary of being partnered to my Master. It's been a very hard day for me. There were tears this morning when I sent him a card that said “I love You” instead of “Happy Anniversary” in it. I haven't slept much today. He really loved the card, by the way. I'm still in his collar, you see. I won't go into all of the details of what happened, but suffice it to say, and the person responsible will know who I am talking to – When you're asked to leave something alone and not say anything – leave it the fuck alone and don't say anything.  Especially when you don't know as much as you think you do, about what's going on.

The amount of pain that I have had since August 5^th … the number of tears that I have cried... the number of times that I was just ready to end it all – you don't know, and you will NEVER know, because not only did you end my partnership with Master, you also walked out of my life and dropped everything in my lap. Not only that, but it isn't the first time you've done it.

That isn't ohana. In no world is that ever ohana.

Today, I should be grieving your loss as well – but I am not.

Not only do I have my Master still, albeit without the role of partner … but I have a beautiful sister as well. I won't say that she's a new sister – she isn't, though she is new to Master's collar. She's always been my sister, even if we didn't necessarily realize that bond was there.

Let me tell you about this woman, though. This woman walked right in, wrapped her arms around my heart, and held me while I grieved for you, and for the relationship that I thought I was losing. She never ever judged, and she never ever took sides. She just listened. She offered advice. And, she loved.

That is ohana.

That is why we are family now, the three of us.

That is why, I don't have to worry about being left behind, or forgotten, ever again.

Roses & Violets

To Master.

Skinny Shamed!!??

So ... I think I just got "skinny shamed".

I've been fat shamed before in real life, because I am a bit overweight, plus I'm just a bigger person in general.  But now, I can honestly say I know what feels like on the other side of that coin.

I was DJ'ing at Fallen tonight and one of the VIPs made a comment along the lines of "gives River a cheeseburger and fries" ... and followed that up a while later with adding in some dessert.   I didn't even know this person, and had not seen them before tonight.

I was kind of stunned.

I just made a new shape today, because I got the new [AK] Maia Bento head.  I personally don't think I look too skinny, I think I have a rather athletic look, which I really like.  I'm certainly not all skin and bones ... but you know what?  Even if I was?

So what?!!

Its my choice as to what I look like in SL.  There's just no reason that anyone should be shaming anyone for what they look like - large, small, tall, short, or otherwise!! 

Wow! So Much Time!

The only excuse that I can give for not posting to this blog since ... 2014?!  Is that life has been pretty crazy in both RL and SL. 

Fallen Angels BDSM Club is still open and going strong, thank you all very much!  We have some amazing staff members, and even more amazing VIPs that bring a sincere sense of joy to Fallen.  Even on the days when things are hard (and believe me, as a club owner you see a lot of those!), those people have a way of bringing a smile to my face and letting me know that in the end, its all going to be just fine.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

A lot of people talk about "family" in SL - and unfortunately, we see a lot of those families come and go on the grid.  One day, everything is fine and dandy, and the next day, all hell has broken loose, people are hating on eachother, and the drama level has gone sky-high.   I am so very fortunate, that, in my SL, I only have to watch that happening from a distance.  Sometimes, a short distance, but still a distance.   The little group of people that I have surrounded myself with since 2007 are, for the most part, still around, and I think that we are the true meaning of what family actually is.   And, keep in mind, that some of these people have actually been around since BEFORE Second Life!  That makes it even more special!   Our little group has seen its ups and downs.  There's been arguments, out and out fights, even a couple of deaths (RL) - but we have managed to keep hold of the true meaning of "family" throughout it all.   I honestly don't think that I could be more blessed with a group of friends than I am right now, at this moment.


Ohana, Hakuna Matata, and all that jazz.  :-D

The Return of Fallen Angels BDSM Club and Tornadoes!

Let me just right to the big news!  After negotiation, Master and I are the new owners of Fallen Angels BDSM Club.  Yep, that's right.  After listening to people lamenting it's disappearance for two years, we decided to try to do something about it.   It's our sincere hope to return Fallen to what it once was - a home away from home .. a place where people can come and feel safe, whilst enjoying themselves.  The build is very similar to that of the old Fallen build, with a few surprises, such as the Upper Floor - click things to find the hidden play rooms!  You never know where one is going to be found!  We have an amazing staff who is really standing firmly behind us, and we are looking to add to that staff.  The Fallen online application is back up and running, and we hope to see some returns on that soon!

Opening night was AMAZING.  We had nearly 60 people, and DJ Othius was on hand to lend his musical stylings for the big night.  All of the dance poles were filled, and there was lots of conversation and welcoming familiar faces back home again.

Sunday was all about rest and relaxation, heh.

Monday, September 1st started quietly enough but towards the evening, things started to get intense in my RL.  Storms started rolling in.  Big ones.  Lots of lightning and thunder .. and then severe thunderstorm warning happened.  Less than 10 minutes later, that changed to a tornado warning.  I barely had enough time to let Master know what was going on (we were on Skype) before the power started doing this weird fade in and out thing.  Then it went totally out, came back on again, and there was a massive explosion near my house as a transformer blew up.  Literally, there was a fireball.  Of course at that point, the dogs and  I were in the dark.  I grabbed my phone and we headed for the bathroom.  As we were going, I could hear the wind slamming against my house ... the windows were rattling violently, the door was shaking in it's frame, and the air conditioner was really struggling to stay put in the window.  I heard a really loud bang against the house (that was my trash bin trying to fly away) and then the house started groaning ...  By this time, the dogs and I were in the bathtub with the futon mattress over our heads, and I was frantically trying to call my children.  My youngest daughter managed to get a call back to me, the tornado had touched down right by her work, but they were all safe in the walk-in.   All in all, the majority of my city lost power, there were tons of downed trees (I'm talking, yanked up by the roots!) and debris everywhere.  My power went down about 9:30pm Sept 1, and came back up around 3:30pm Sept 2nd.  Kudos to the power people for working so hard to get things fixed!!  As I understand it, they are still working hard, and there are still some pockets of town without power.  Thank goodness it wasn't as hot as it was supposed to be, today.  It would have been unbearable.

And that's a wrap up for my weekend.   Here's to hoping for a quiet rest of the week, heh.


Love and Peace,

~R

Lazy Days...

I've had a few lazy days lately.  Today was one of them.

Today, I took some pictures at a sim called Hazardous - it's one of my favorite places to go to take pictures, because I can get that sort of, post-apocalyptic look pretty easily there.  Anyway, here's the results.   I think the last one is my favorite.

Catching Up and Other Interesting Things

It occurred to me, today, that I have not posted anything to my blog in quite some time!  So, I am going to rectify that sad situation.

Needless to say, I've been pretty busy.  We have some new staff in at EXILE, which has helped tremendously! I had taken on an extra DJ shift on Mondays, but have happily passed that on to Ray - who I am excited to say, made #17 on the SHX TOP 40 on his first appearance at EXILE!  And, Jynxx is back!! Congrats and yay and stuff!!  There's also been RL stuff going on - switching bedrooms in the house (which was a trial, let me tell you), and general cleaning.  Got new blinds, hung those, thermal curtains, and then all of the nifty day-to-day stuff that goes on.

News on the mesh body front - #themeshproject has perhaps one of the BEST mesh body setups that I have seen to date.   Those of you who have read my previous blogs on mesh bodies know that I was pretty hooked on my WowMeh.  But, the Mesh Project ... wow.  Every detail is pretty amazing! I went all the way and got the "babydoll" head, and the deluxe body, which came with mesh hands and feet also.  Even when it was in beta, I didn't want to take it off.  (Beta had no alpha layers.)  I am REALLY looking forward to more clothing designers getting stuff out for #themeshproject!!  Oh, AND, my fave skin designer, Pink Fuel, is set to start doing skins for them as well!!  If anyone wants to get a free mesh body to try out, go into search on SL, and then under places, type in The Shops.   When you land, you need to accept the folder of HUDs that they give you, and wear the shopping HUD to get started.   Give it a try - you won't be sorry!  I will get some pictures of mine up as soon as I am able to do so.

Lots of curiosity abounded this week with some mysterious announcements in the Fallen group about a return of the club.  We're being told to "stay tuned" for more details, so I guess that is what we'll all have to do.   Should be interesting to see what happens.

I guess that's about it for me, for now.  Hopefully things slow down a bit so that I can actually get on here and update my blog more often!  Quiet time is good.  Yes.  It is.

Love N Peace,

~R

Up and Coming SL Changes

As many of you probably already know, Linden Lab has recently announced some in-the-works changes for Second Life that have the potential to be pretty game-changing.  I initially backed away from commenting on the announcement of some of those, because, lets be blunt here among friends - I've been in SL since 2007, and in that time, LL has announced changes and new policy, etc that has fallen by the wayside.  I remember when voice was first brought in - hell, I remember the introduction of flexi-hair!!  We've been through a lot together, SL and I.

First ... the announcement that there is, for lack of a better term, a "SL 2.0" in the works.  Supposedly it is to be geared more towards content creators, which I am sure that they will be jumping up and down about.  I, however, am not a true content creator.  I build a few things here and there, but I can't honestly give myself that title.  I'm on this ride to have some fun.  I'm not really sure what to make of this idea from LL, so on this topic, I have to just sit back and wait and watch to see how things go.  There seems to be a lot of "end of the world" talk going on - I don't think that is going to be the case.  Second Life is the cash cow for LL.  Why would you kill off your cash cow before the calf is even born?  Think about that for a moment, and settle down.  Please, for everyone.

Secondly, a new policy announcement from LL.  The introduction of "gaming sims".  Anyone running what LL defines as a "game of skill" (pay money in, get money out) has to do one of two things:  Either pick it up and not use it, or reclassify your sim as a gaming sim to keep it.  Sounds easy, right?  Wrong.  A gaming sim costs about $50.00 USD more a month in tier, number one.  Number two, you have to have an operator's licence.  More money.  You also have to pay (I think) quarterly to keep said licence going.  On TOP of that, anyone who doesn't have payment info on file is not going to be allowed to come to your new gaming sim. And, there will be some, who live in gambling restricted areas of the United States, who will not be allowed on your sim simply because gambling is not legal in their state, regardless of if they have payment info registered or not.  Oh, and did I mention that the creator of said games has to pay to register with Linden Lab to even sell their gaming items?

Read about it here.

There's been a lot of forum discussion about this.  People seem to be in a bit of a tizzy, and there isn't clear explanation from LL for some things.  Example - Greedy tables can be paid into and can pay out.  But, what if my Greedy table has that option turned off?  Can I still have it in my club?   Contest boards - what if people don't have to pay into them to join the contest?  Are they exempt from this ruling?  And, what about sploders?  LL seems a bit vague in answering those questions, so I am looking for a more definitive statement from them in the near future to clarify things on that front.

There is one light in this tunnel that I am pleased to see.  This will take care of places using things like Coin Search and Fish Hunt to game their traffic.  By LL (and the people who own those "Games" own definition), it is a game of skill in which people win Linden.  So, that would fall deeply into this ruling.  What I am hoping to see happen is that we will start to see an actual traffic score for places instead of inflated traffic because of things like Fish Hunt.  I've blogged about the traffic thing a few times now, please feel free to go back and have a read when you have a few minutes.

This is the part where I do some shameless finger-wagging and self-promotion by saying, EXILE will not be affected in terms of traffic because we never used Fish Hunt to pump up our daily traffic.  I guess honesty truly does pay off in the end.

Anyway, its going to be interesting to sit back and watch all of this taking effect on the grid, to watch the traffic scores going on a roller coaster ride, and to watch people scrambling to be in compliance with the new LL policy.

I guess that's about it for me, for tonight.  Its hot as hell here, and I am going to go and jump in a cool shower for a bit, then eat my dinner, and get ready for Sexy Saturday at EXILE.  Yay!!

Love and Peace,

~R

Mesh Everything, and Exile Happenings!

OMG MESH BODY?!

This was my face when I heard that SLINK had released a mesh body. Really!  I had one mesh body, and I really loved it.  It was from WOWMEH, but the creator got slapped with some bizarre DMCA violation, which makes me really sad. I was kind of worried about LL yanking it out of my inventory, so I decided to check out the one from SLINK, simply because I already have the mesh hands and feet from there.  

I was correct in that, it's much easier to match the hands and feet with the body.  I actually went and bought skin appliers.  It looks really good.

Then, of course, I decided that I wanted to try out the SLINK mesh head.  Its called "Visage", and they run about $L2200.  A bit pricey, true, but its SLINK, I thought.  So, I got myself all skin matched, which is great, because the heads that I had before didn't quite match up with my WOWMEH body, and that was really twitching my ocd.  

Sad Panda...

Back to the "Visage" head though.  I like that it all matches now, but I have to admit that I am a little disappointed that I can't adjust it more with the sliders, as I could my other two mesh heads.  I mean, it's

cute and all, but more customization ability would be great. I know it can be done, because I could do it with the other two heads.  It made me sad panda.   I mean, I am happy that I match utterly and completely now and all, but I guess I was just expecting a little bit more.  If I know SLINK though, there will be fixes and updates, and I will check them all out as they happen.  

That said, I am also really interested in seeing what happens with the WOWMEH thing ... I really loved the mesh body from them, and with all of the attention to details that went into it, I can only imagine what would happen if she were to release a head as well.  I have heard that she is working on a new mesh body, and I hope that's true!   There's already so many appliers on marketplace for wowmeh, and I was really digging them a lot.  It made things so much easier to change clothes!  Ha!  

On the topic of changing clothes ... it seems to me that a lot more thought went into the wowmeh alpha layer adjusting than the slink one.   With wowmeh, you can adjust front and back separately from eachother. Unless I am missing something, this doesn't seem to be possible with the slink one.  I really love wearing mesh clothing with my mesh body, too, and that extra little bit of customization really made them work better for me.

NEW TOPIC!! EXILE!! 

Holy cow, Saturday night was amazing!!  First off, we had a wedding.   Sir Shadow and Bailey tied the knot in the Exile Garden in front of many friends and family members.   It was absolutely beautiful, and I was so glad that Master and I were able to attend.  I love weddings, I really do, and they always make me sniffle just a little bit.  Afterwards, we all retired down to Exile for a "Phantom of the Opera" celebration party, formal of course.  Everyone looked amazing, and DJ Syn hit the SHX charts!!  Congrats, Syn!!

After that, we had the BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIG event of the night, Exile-wise.  Because, really, weddings are a pretty big deal!   DJ Satre took the stream at 8pm, and Jynxx and I were hosting.   Hybridz was the sponsor, latex, fetish wear, etc... and it was utterly amazing.  There were SO many people there, really, it took both Jynxx and I to get the hosting job done.  Traffic ended up breaking 12k, which was really great!  I think thats actually a new record for Exile traffic, but I would have to check with Master to make certain of that.  Satre also hit the SHX charts, at #4!! Congrats, Satre!! 

We had a staff meeting on Friday night, and although not all of the staff was able to attend, we did come away with some really great ideas and suggestions.  We are already at work implementing a few of those, even as I type!    I am taking over the Host Manager position while Florisa deals with some RL and SL things, and I am really looking forward to getting all of the hosts on the same page, so that we can make Exile even better.  Spydie is going to be giving me a hand with training, as well, which is great!  Jynxx is still handling the DJs and the Dancers - although there is some talk about a dance trainer to give a hand in that aspect.  We've bantered a few names back and forth, but I am not going to give out any names.

I'm going to end this post with a gorgeous picture of Bailey and Sir Shadow and their first kiss as husband and wife.  :)    Peace to all!! 

Sir Shadow and Bailey 6/28/2014

Boating and Building Fun

So, the other day, Master had gone to bed early, and I stayed online to work on a few ideas that I had for the Kinky Beach at Exile.  Master and I had been talking, because, frankly, we are on a quarter of a sim, and we had a lot of ground-level land with nothing but palm trees on it.  It looked kind of boring.  I had already replaced the dancefloor area with a snazzy new beach club build, and so I decided to get to work on the idea we had come up with.

First, I sunk all of the Exile land that wasn't in use.  Then, I raised a nifty island in the middle of all of that lovely water.  I put down a cute little sign for people to click, that rezzes rowboats for two, and we are in the process of getting some jet skis as well.  On the little island is a cuddle campfire, a lovers' dock, and a very cute beach house with BDSM furniture in it.  Jynxx and I call it "The Love Shack".  Heh.

The Exile Kinky Beach

Of course I managed to catch Jynxx on FaceBook as I was doing all of this, and she logged in to look, only halfway through her first cup of coffee.  She added to the loveliness by making a wonderful jumping dolphin! I had a dolphin, but it was old and drunk, and it just sort of feebly jumped out of the water, but going sideways.  Hers is loads better.  I also have a Victorian hot air balloon, but I am still debating on whether to put it out or not.  Its a lot of fun, seats up to 8, etc etc.

Hilarity ensued when we decided to try out the rowboats.  I was steering, and I admit, it took me a bit to get used to it.   She snapped some great pictures of the madness as it was going on.

I don't think this is how its supposed to go ...

Woman overboard!! 

"I'm on a boat!! I'm on a boat!!"

Love and Peace,

~R

Sometimes You Just Gotta...

Lately, its felt like a lot of things are really getting to me, and they shouldn't be.  So, I decided to take a day off in SL, and just wander the grid.  I found some really great places, and got some really great photo ops. Some of them, I can't show here, because of nudity and all that jazz - besides, those kinds of pictures are for my Master's eyes.  :)

Anyway, I wanted to share some of the pictures that I snapped from a sim called "It All Starts With A Smile".. To the owners of this sim - thank you, because you helped me find my smile again!!

I haven't really touched up these pictures.  Then again, how can you touch up happiness?

Stairs leading up into a quaint Italian-style village

A cute little house that I found

Picking some apples

Painting the landscape

Getting my hands dirty

Time to reflect.  Coffee and cookies helped!

NINJA ROLLS!

A good movie to end the night

To Cheat Or Not To Cheat

Recently, we have been paying a lot of attention to traffic in SL.  For those of you who are not SL players, traffic is defined by not only how many people visit your club, but how long they stay at your club.  As an example, one person who stays for several hours could be worth more traffic than three people who come in and stay only a few minutes, if that makes sense.

In paying attention to the traffic, we've been noticing that a lot of clubs are fudging their traffic - that is to say, setting out alts to sit all day/night, or using "traffic builders" -- things like sploders and fishing and coin hunting, where avs come in with the sole purpose of winning linden provided by the club owner.  Not only is it expensive, but in my honest opinion, its cheating.

Tell me what a traffic builder like "Fish Hunt" has to do with BDSM clubs or hangouts?  Do those people coming in want to participate in your BDSM club events?  No.  They are there for one thing and one thing only - to win lindens.  They could care two shits less about what you have going in your place.  Not to mention, SL ToS state that gaming traffic is illegal.  Below, find the link on marketplace for said "Fish Hunt".

https://marketplace.secondlife.com/p/Fish-Hunt-Buoy-Increase-Land-Traffic-10-tax/3598775

The funny thing is ... whenever the owners of said places aren't online for several days, their traffic tends to mirror ours pretty closely.  We're not a huge club, certainly nothing to the scale that Fallen Angels BDSM Club used to be, but we do pride ourselves on having great staff, and fun events for everyone - BDSM and vanilla.  Our traffic can run anywhere from 4500 to 9000.  And the thing is, when the owner of the other place isn't online to pay the Fish Hunt thing for several days ... theirs is about the same.  Which is saying something, considering that they have far more events per day than we do, and tend to put cash and prizes on the board for almost every event (something I will also delve into).

While I understand that one has to have traffic to get traffic, wouldn't it be better to do it the right, fair, HONEST way, instead of cheating?  Wouldn't it be better to have people at your place who are truly interested in your place, and your staff, and not just winning linden?

Which leads me into my next topic ... Clubs that put cash and prizes on the board for every single event.  See above statement.  I have no problem with sponsoring or putting cash on the board for a special event.  Even a couple events per week is a good thing.  But every single event?  Watch your place the next time you run a contest.  Sure, you may have 40 people at your event.  How fast do they all fuck off after the event ends?   Within seconds.  I've seen it happen.   They don't hang around at all.   So, its flash traffic - people who are only coming because they want what goodies you have to throw on the board.   That isn't club loyalty.  Its not loyalty to your staff.

Here's my challenge.   Go a week and do things the HONEST way.   Lets see what happens then.

Week In Review

Topics:  3 in the top 5 and 2 at #1 on SHX
             DJ Othius Returns
             The Goddess Returns
             A Task is Given
             Well-Wishes



We'll just go down the list as in the topics.    What a week at EXILE!!  Last week, we had 3 DJ's in the top 5 on the SHX Top 40, and 2 of those came in at #1!!  That's right - both myself and DJ Wingtips (Mav) came in at the coveted #1 position.  Mav came in first on Thursday, then I knocked him down to #2 on Friday with my 80s set.  About an hour later, I got bumped to #2, and Mav to #3.  Then on Saturday, Othius came in at #3 and bumped Mav down to #4.   So, a great week as far as that goes!!   Not only that, but we had several other DJs that hit the top 40 chart during the course of the week as well!! Congratulations to everyone on that awesome achievement!!

Saturday also saw the return of DJ Othius to Exile after a very long 6 months!   Everyone was really glad to see him back, and Sexy Saturday/Naked Saturday saw a lot of people coming in to hear him DJing again. He said he was a little bit nervous, but honestly, he did great, and its really great to have him back again.
One of the people who made a return appearance after a long time was the Goddess Athena!  THENA! We missed you too, and we were really happy to see you back again as well!

I also got a task .... I don't necessarily like it, but its something that has to be done, and so do it I shall. Master has tasked me with going through the boxes in the spare bedroom.  I am to do 2 boxes per day.  The reason for this is that I have been having a hard time getting it done, because I am overwhelmed by it, honestly.  Its one of those things where, things have gotten thrown in there for a while now in the process of working on the rest of the house, and every time I open the door, I just wince and close it again.  So, Master has stepped in and given me this task.  Yesterday, I got up late, and so I only did one box, but today, I was an over-achiever, and I did 4.  I think it evened out.

We also had a sad thing happen in our household this past week - Sydney decided to leave.  She said that she needed to be on her own for a while, and find herself again.  I hope she does! It always sucks when you lose yourself.  I lose myself quite often.  I think I lost myself in the spare bedroom for a bit earlier, but luckily, I found me again, and now I am working on my blog.  All humour aside, we both wish her well, and hope that everything works out for her.

As a result of that, I ended up taking down the house that we were living in, and putting up a different one. With it just being the two of us again, we really didn't need all of that space.  We now have an awesome beach house (we live on the beach - imagine that!) and I spent a whole afternoon decking it out and getting everything just perfect.  Our beach looks really good, though I do need to find some deck chairs or something, and put the Intan back out again so that we can dance.  I guess you could say, its a work in progress still.  :)

RL has been pretty quiet.  Its been raining here for several days, and supposed to rain until Wednesday night.  I'm really loving it.  I adore rain.  Especially the warm, summer rains.  And, we're getting thunderstorms as well! I like those even more!   Other than that, I've just been working on the house, and my task, and working on the blanket that I am crocheting.  Oh, and playing with my dogs, heh.  Can't forget them!  Its been rather peaceful, and I am enjoying it to the fullest that I am able to. :)


Thats about it for now!  I'll try to get another blog post up soon, but no promises, because yeah ... heh.


Peace and Love,


~R

I Did STUFF!!!

Let me start out this post by reminding you all that I am ADHD.  For those of you just now coming on board, I'll explain that I was ADHD before it was cool, waaaaaaay back in the 70's.  Its been an interesting, and sometimes not-so-fun thing to live with, but I (mostly) manage.  OK, I sometimes manage.  Sometimes, I just slide through and pretend not to notice, and hope that no one else does, either.

I've been living in the "new" house since September 2013.  And, there's just a lot of stuff that I haven't done yet - like unpacking.   That's not to say that I haven't unpacked ANYthing, because I have.  Just some things, well .... because you know, they are in the bedroom, and no one would possibly see that there are things that aren't unpacked in the bedroom, right?  But recently, those several boxes of unpacked, do-I-keep-them-or-not clothes have gotten scattered all over, and then thrown back into the boxes, and became a monstrous pile of disaster-waiting-to-happen in the corner of the bedroom, just inside the door.  Right in front of the closet, which was blissfully empty, because, you know, there were huge boxes of clothes stacked in front of it.

"Today is the day," I told myself when I got up, as I sat bleary-eyed over my first glass of Dr Pepper of the day.  "I am going to tackle those boxes."   I think Loki and Achilles laughed at me a little bit.   I think part of my brain laughed a little, too, but I silenced them all with my grim determination, and two glasses of Dr Pepper later, I was ready.  I remembered my Grandmother's words when she was trying to help my Mom encourage me to clean my room one afternoon.  "Start small."   So I grabbed the smallest box, and dragged it into the living room, sat down on the floor, and Loki and I went to work.  He was helping, you know, making sure those clothes that I folded into neat piles weren't going anywhere, by laying on them.  Its amazing how many piles of clothing one small dog can lay across at the same time.  Just sayin'.   Master was up by this time, and listening to the news, so I had the added incentive of listening to the Liberals talking about budgetary things and "Getting the house in order" - not that I really care for the Liberal party, but I clean better when I am angry.  Clothes were flying, let me tell you.

After I managed to remove Loki from the piles of folded laundry from the first box, I politely excused myself from Skype and Master for a few moments to put them away.  Next, I threw the dirty laundry into the washer, and tossed the throw away stuff into the now-empty box for the dumpster, later.  Here's where things started to get interesting.  Remember that whole ADHD thing?  Well, on the way to putting the dirty clothes in the washer, my brain decided to inform me that the laundry room really could use a good cleaning as well.  That floor was just begging to be swept and mopped, and oh my gosh, when was the last time the area around the holes where the detergent and bleach go, was wiped down?  

Cue Grandma.  "One thing at a time."  I listen to Grandma because I love her, and she makes a lot of sense. So, I ignored my brain and the floor and the detergent and bleach holes, dumped the laundry in, and closed the lid.  Yes, I started the machine.  :P  I even took the socks out of the dryer that had been in there for .. oh ... a week.  Deposited them right into the sock drawer, yes I did.

Several boxes later, I can now get into my closet, and the walkway through the bedroom to the bathroom is clear!  Oh, except for that little pile of whites that needs bleached.

To "normal" people, this might not seem like much.  Maybe a few hours.  But for me, I am proud that I got it all done.  HA! Take that, Liberal party! I am getting my house in order, thank you very much!  But ... I could use some help with my budget.  Heh.

~R

Playing Catch-Up

Wow, okay so ... I am a horrible blogger.  I think we have established this already.  For those of you still reading, thank you.  For those of you who aren't, well, you won't get this anyway, so really no need for me to say anything at all, heh.

Have you ever had times where, you wanted to do things, but you just couldn't find the motivation for it, no matter how large or small the thing was that you wanted to do?   That's been me for about the last month or so.  I start out with really good intentions, and then somewhere along the way, BAM! Motivation - dead. I wish that I knew what caused it, because I am really getting tired of it.  Maybe if I can manage to get motivated enough, I will check into that ... heh.

I've been taking a few SL pictures here and there.  Found some incredibly beautiful sims to work with for said pictures! I am always on the lookout for more, so if you know of any, please send me locations!  I've been working on my crochet a lot too.  I finished up a baby blanket for a friend of mine who is expecting a baby girl in June - her name will be Violet, and so she has a pale violet blanket coming.  Yes, I'm creative like that.  Currently, I am working on a lacy creation of a blanket that will go to my housemate's Mother when finished.  Its sort of my "in-between blankets" blanket.  I have another friend who is expecting his first child in September - a boy!  Just waiting to hear back from him on what colours the nursery will be.  June to September - that's plenty of time, yes?

I got a wonderful surprise via delivery the other day, from Master.  He had ordered me half a dozen long-stemmed red roses in a beautiful vase with a box of Whitman's chocolates to go along with them!  They smell absolutely beautiful, and I am planning on drying them when its time, so that I can keep the bouquet always. Here is a picture of them.  Oh, and the Hogwarts canvas in the background was painted for me by Jynxx! You can also see some of my Renaissance Festival mugs and nick-knacks, of which I have far too many.

I think thats about it for now, really.  I've got dinner in the oven, and I am going to go and see to getting the rest of dinner ready to go with it.

Peace and Love!


~R

Next To Me

I used to listen to this all the time.

I Got the Blues (And the Jazz, and the Soul)

Last night at Exile was an amazing event - DJ Wingtips put on one hell of a blues, jazz and soul party!  We took it up all the way and went full-on formal.  It was - for lack of a better word - AWESOME.  Frank Sinatra, Nat King Cole, Dean Martin ... all of the oldies but goodies were present and accounted for.  Satre was the host, and Kitten did a spectacular job dancing and keeping things really classy! 25 people came over to party with us, and I think everyone had a blast.  Definitely something we are going to have to do again.  Personally, I am a huge blues and jazz fan, and so I really enjoyed dancing in Master's arms and listening to some of my favorite music.

Jynxx and Dougie

DJ Wingtips

Master and I

Awesome outfit!!  Zoot suit riot!!

New Computer, More Pictures, and Other Things

My first bit of lovely news is that I have a new computer!!  YAY!!

A few months ago, my housemate accidentally knocked a glass of Dr Pepper over onto my laptop.  Ever since then, its been going downhill - not that it was ever the best computer in the world, heh.  Going back even a bit more, it was a replacement for my Asus, which had been stolen out of my home one afternoon when I went out for some dinner. Being that the replacement was an Acer, it never really measured up to the little beast that the Asus had been.

Master fixed that problem for me last week.  Friday the 18th, my new Asus arrived, and its just ... WOW. Its a gaming laptop - which means its beefy.  The graphics card is simply amazing. (NVidia 800 series) On my Acer, I was having to run SecondLife on the lowest settings, which means that I couldn't see things like ... clouds .. shadows ...glow ... etc.  With this one, I am running on high.  I can see it all now!  WoW actually made me a little dizzy when I logged in yesterday for the first time.

Needless to say, I've been running all around SecondLife snapping pictures like a woman possessed. Windlight is an awesome thing.  Shadows are an awesome thing.  And, I always try to get clouds in the picture if I can.  Heh.  Here's an example.

I don't remember what Windlight setting I used for this one.  It was taken on the beach behind our house on Crystal Cove II.  This is a raw picture - not edited at all in any photo shop program.  Mainly, because I don't have Paintshop Pro installed on this computer yet.  I do have iPiccy in Google, and its good, but just not as good as an actual editing program.  I'm fairly proud of how this one turned out, especially since I am just learning about all of the Windlight settings and photos and how they work together, etc.  Phototools, you are my friend!

My second bit of news -- Spring has finally sprung.  To a lot of people, this might not seem like such a big bit of news, but for me, its an awesome thing.  Things are turning green, flowers and blooming, and birds are singing.  There's rain and thunder and sunshine. (Not all at the same time, granted.)  What this means for me is that (a) I am sniffling and sneezing and (b) my seasonal depression is finally starting to lift.  Yep, I have it. I've had it for ages, and it sucks.  I still don't understand how one season can affect someone so much, but winter hits me really hard.  It isn't as bad here as it was when I lived up North, but it still isn't a pleasant thing at all to deal with.  I just have to march through it the best that I can, and hope and pray that people can at least understand what I am dealing with a little bit.  The fact that I actually want to get out of bed is a huge thing!!

I am also really excited about taking a week or so and going at my house some more.  While I am not saying that I want to become a minimalist, I definitely have far too much stuff.  My spare room should provide hours of entertainment for anyone who wants to come and watch me struggle through it.  Heh.  I also need to get some clothesline strung up in the laundry room so that I can hang clothes to dry.  The wetness sensor in my dryer has gone out apparently.  I don't want to hang the clothes outside because of all of the ratty little kids that run around in this area.   And, after almost a year, I think it might be time that I actually put some pictures on the walls.  I have frames that I bought before I moved to this house - just haven't gotten them up yet.  Did I mention that I can sometimes be a bit of a procrastinator? Remind me to tell you about that sometime....

So to sum it all up ... I got a new computer, I can take pictures and see graphics again, spring is filling the air with glorious things, and my seasonal depression is starting to lift.  Life is getting better again.  Hooray.


Peace and Love,

~R

A Few Pictures

I like to dabble with SL photography.  Here's a few shots that I have done, recently.

A Moment's Peace (Poem)

Stuck inside of me
like a thousand needles,
painfully sharp, small,
insignificant and painful

Words that won't come
screaming for release
begging for a moment's peace
Sweet silence never comes

Today it stings less
tomorrow, maybe more
I just don't know.
Ask me again later, or don't.

I can't tell, you see
if it hurts less today or tomorrow, or yesterday
If the needles prick less
Am I just accustomed to the pain?

Building walls around my soul
hide me from the view
shield me from the ache
Block the sweet perfume

Perhaps naked souls are not for me
Secrets must be kept, guarded
Preserve some small part
Keep it just my own

Words threaten to burst out
spill forth from my soul
To wound, to maim, they ache inside
stabbing, torturous needles

And so I dig
deeper and deeper the hole goes
filled with pain and agony
walled up a hundred miles thick

No matter the pain
the sheer nakedness of my soul
Those needles will not find you
They are for me alone

I would survive for your smile
Live for your sweet voice
Scale the wall for your sun
Please let it shine for me again

My heart and soul ache
They burn when you are near
Shower soft skin
mingled with perfume

Smooth soft skin, not mine
Eyes no longer for me
Yet I yearn .. I long...
a moment's peace